Coping. I have what I feel is an effective, yet unhealthy, coping device. Repression.
I feel that this works for dealing with the trials of day to day life, and is just as effective against significant, traumatic events.
The only problem, from what I can tell, is that I’m kinda at the point where the repression is automatic. I guess I would compare it to the movie Click, when the remote just start fast-forwarding on its own because it’s used to it. I feel like there are feelings that I should have, like missing someone, but I just can’t conjur them up.
Then comes the wondering…am I missing feelings that I should be having, that would be helpful? Am I repressing the good right along with the bad…and short-changing myself?
Secondly…what makes a person want to be a better person? Is it something they want to do for themself, to prove they can do it….or, more often, is it for somebody else? Do they look at someone they know, or someone in their family, and say “That person makes me want to be a better person.” ?
These are all questions I have trouble answering, but I don’t know if I’m the only one…is everyone out there wondering these same things…or do people have answers to these questions and I’ve just never asked?
Any suggestions would be appreciated. :-)
So…I guess I can start by posing a question.
Is it acceptable to drop the F-bomb several times in a conversation being had in a public place (like on a train)?
If so, is there a socially acceptable number of times? I am an avid user of the term, I won’t deny that. I would, however, say that my on/off switch for public use is very finely tuned. (One caveat is drinking. While drinking the number of F-bombs filtered is inversely proportioned to the number of drinks had)
Anyway…I guess I come from a place and time where it was just not OK for the utterance for the word to happen in public. I would not say that I’m offended by the use, but from some sort of environmental programming the word jumps out when I hear it in public.
Am I the only one? Nobody on this train seems to be noticing…
So…with all the different ways to “keep in touch”, I thought it was about time to release a primer, of sorts. This explanation touches briefly on how other people use these services, but focuses on how I use them.
Tumblr: this is a Blog posting service, that goes a bit beyond the normal blog and focuses on blogging media. Additionally, I prefer this service because I can email new posts, text new posts, and even “phone it in” if I had to. When you go to www.niclydon.com, you are actually hitting the front of my Tumblr page. You are reading this post on Tumblr, which I emailed from my Blackberry. You can also find my Tumblr posts on Facebook.
Twitter: I use this service very little. I have it to have it. I sometimes use it to update my Facebook status, but not much since they released Facebook for Blackberry. Any post I make to Twitter automatically is added to my Tumblr, and thus niclydon.com and thus Facebook.
Flickr: I use this service for storing and sharing photos (and some videos). I currently have more than 17,000 photos, roughly 14,000 of which are tagged with at least one tag. I also have more than 15,000 unique views, averaging 60 views a day. I have 84 photos that are private and 221 photos that can only be seen by Friends and Family. The first 20 photos of any upload are automatically posted to my Facebook wall, and my top 20 photos are on the MyFlickr tab on Facebook. I use a Pro account, which is 24.95 a year. Videos that are on Flickr are part of a photo set and are videos only because it made sense at the time…not to be actual “Video”.
YouTube: I have a small selection of Videos on youtube. I don’t have a video camera anymore, and haven’t really gotten into taking serious videos. Any new videos I do post, however, are automatically added to my Facebook.
Picnik: This is really a behind the scenes service. Picnik is an online photo editing application that can pull photos from my flickr, facebook, myspace or computer. I can then edit those photos (crop, red eye, effects, etc.) and save them back to facebook, flickr, myspace, etc. I have a pro account here for 24.95 a year.
Blackberry: This is like a child to me. I get all facebook, myspace and email messages here. I also use google talk, aim, yahoo and blackberry messenger for im. I have apps for posting to tumblr, uploading photos, baseball scores, weather, scanning bar codes. My bank has an app for checking balances and I’ve traded out my iPod for Slacker Radio at 47.95 a year. My Blackberry has a better insight into my life than I do.
GMail: Google’s free email service, I’ve been using it since May 2004. I was invited as a subscriber to Blogger when Google bought them. I also host all niclydon.com email through Google Apps.
APIs: Stands for Application Programming Interface. APIs are what make it possible for all of these services to connect to each other. In many cases I am using built in functions for connecting, in some I use custom API calls to tweak certain appearance settings.
The main thing here is that almost everything I have feeds into or can be accessed via Facebook…it’s the one-stop shop.
All of this is considered Cloud Computing. My email, photos, comments, videos, statuses, etc. exist in the Cloud (all the internet system connect together). Using this design, I can effectively compute using any internet connected device, anywhere.
Someday I’ll discuss how my HP Netbook comes into play.
Any questions, email me…I will gladly go into more detail.
As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.
Every single interaction you have with a child, and even some interactions you don’t have, will contribute to their adult lives.
When you make a child feel shame, guilt, pride, happiness, disappointment, loneliness, independence or any other feeling…you help associate those feelings with actions and events that will stay with them forever.
It’s not just your children you have to worry about…the way you act in front of any child is shaping that child’s future. So…how are you bending the twig?
Blind loyalty…what is it? I go to this excerpt from a poem:
“Forward the Light Brigade!”
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Their’s not to make reply.
Their’s not to reason why.
Their’s but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred.
This poem is often cited when trying to motivate soldiers in battle. It basically describes a brigade that rode into a heavily fortified area based on mistaken orders that none of the soldiers would question.
I see these same “soldiers” around me all the time. People that are doing things, saying things, believing things and repeating thing without even a second of thought. They follow blindly as though they don’t have the ability to question. This blind loyalty, it seems, is often enshrined in familial connections.
I cannot give you my loyalty based solely on the fact that you are my family. There are times when my family is wrong and that others are right.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?